A white woman is promoted: Whose dick did she suck?
A man of color is promoted: Oh, great, I guess we have to “fill quotas” now.
A woman of color is promoted: j/k. That never happens.
Brace yourselves, Legends is coming. And so our death watch begins…
You’re your father’s daughter, no mistake. Bloody relentless, the both of you.
It’s a new one today. Lots of tricky words. But I think you can manage.
people who can open cereal boxes perfectly are not to be trusted
"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person"
"oh sorry about that sir"
Chris Evans + “Why Can’t I Just Grab a Man’s (and My Own) Left Boob in Friendship”
Bonus: Backhanding Chris Hemsworth
I just invented a new word:
i was waiting on the pizza delivery guy to call me to say my pizza is here and when my phone rang i accidentally answered with “Pizza?” instead of hello and he replied “yes this is pizza”